The Untold Power of Water Hoses: or, Reviewing “Merlin: The Return” (2000; Dir. Paul Matthews)

I’ll be honest, for a good third of this movie, I had no idea what was happening. Even going to Wikipedia didn’t help much (which surprised me since Wikipedia usually’s a safe bet with these older movies). And even though the arcane plot finally clicked with me about 30-something minutes into the film, this is…Read more »

Mighty Morphin’ Lancelot! (Lancelot: Guardian of Time 1997) (Review)

Any time that I watch a low-budget Arthurian film, something almost always happens—I either eagerly devour the movie due to how terrible it is, or I find myself knocking myself out because I am so bored. Thankfully, director Rubiano Cruz’s late-nineties spin on the legend was easy to watch. It was, dare I say, all…Read more »

Let’s Read: Sir Gawain and the Green Knight (Ch.2)

And we’re back!   Previously, we left off with the giant green doofus wrecking Arthur and company’s lovely banquet. I’m not sure how long it took to cook that meal, but if I was the chefs, I would be pissed. Regardless, the mean, lean, green killing-machine challenged the knights to a ridiculous bet involving blows to…Read more »