The Untold Power of Water Hoses: or, Reviewing “Merlin: The Return” (2000; Dir. Paul Matthews)

I’ll be honest, for a good third of this movie, I had no idea what was happening. Even going to Wikipedia didn’t help much (which surprised me since Wikipedia usually’s a safe bet with these older movies). And even though the arcane plot finally clicked with me about 30-something minutes into the film, this is…Read more »

Mighty Morphin’ Lancelot! (Lancelot: Guardian of Time 1997) (Review)

Any time that I watch a low-budget Arthurian film, something almost always happens—I either eagerly devour the movie due to how terrible it is, or I find myself knocking myself out because I am so bored. Thankfully, director Rubiano Cruz’s late-nineties spin on the legend was easy to watch. It was, dare I say, all…Read more »